i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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