if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
