Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
