honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
