His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
