walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
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