There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
I look better un-naked...
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
