im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
