It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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