someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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