I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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