Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
