Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
