I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
She announced her abortion via fbk
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
