there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
