No, you can still breathe under the balls.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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