she was so not down for the gang bang
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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