Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
