I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
