Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Randomize
