and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
