redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
