Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
