I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
