I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
