i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
