I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
