You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Randomize
