Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
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