I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
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you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
this hospital has no fireball
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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