In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
