I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
