so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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