We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize