Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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