i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
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I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
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This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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