so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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