I just cut my nipple shaving
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
