A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
