at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
