do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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