Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
