i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Randomize
