then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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