They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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