She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
