dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
