His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
