so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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