I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
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