6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
