I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
barbara walters just said penis...
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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