My girlfriend figured out who you are.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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