WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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