Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize