whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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