Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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