I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
