Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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